"When you can do neither, do what is fair and equitable"

In our everyday living, we are faced with many situations where a decision is necessary. With the different interests amongst the people who will be affected by our decision, do we do the right thing or just do things right? What is the difference? The former is a leader, the latter is a manager. I have blogged earlier about the behaviour of a group of monkeys in a cage in "Do we THINK anymore". Many people follow processes without knowing why. There are others will be find means to avoid doing what is required because they do not understand the impact.

One of my former managers told me that you want to find a person who will do a job right, get the one who will be most impacted by that task. And when there is a task to be done and no one seems to want to do it, the person who is most impacted will invariable end up doing it. Unfortunately, that seems to be the culture we see in corporations today. Everyone is trying to get the other party to do what they should do, trying to avoid doing something they should do, essentially, wanting a free lunch.

How then do we get people to own up to owning the tasks they are supposed to and to make fair and equitable decisions in those processes or tasks that they own? That's why I like golf, and the etiquette they teach in golf. While not everyone who plays golf observes the rules and etiquette that is required of them in the game (which is sad), it does not make the game any less noble.

Golf is about the only game in which the player is his/her own referee. The rules officials are there to help the player make the right interpretation of the rules. The penalty for not making the right decision is disqualification (I am sure many of you have read the disqualification of Michelle Wie in her pro debut). And golf is about the only game where a player will call a penalty on himself/herself for infringing a rule. (Ian Woonam assessed a 2 stroke penalty on himself in one British Open when his caddy told him he had 15 clubs in his back, 1 more than the allowed 14, on the second hole.)
You may have heard of players arguing about what the rules are for a situation that they are in. Unfortunately, while the R&A and USGA tried to be as complete as possible in the rules, there will be situations which are not described in the rules. When that happens, the officials will rely on past decisions.
Thus, one golf magazine had this to offer to amateur players. "Play the course as you find it and play the ball as it lies. When you can do neither, do what is fair and equitable."

Will it be a tall order to ask that we do the same in our everday living?

Is courtesy our way of life?

I just had to post this. My family and some friends went to have breakfast this morning after church service. There were 10 of us. The restaurant we went to is usually quite crowded on a Sunday morning but they have tables set out for 4 to 12 people so finding a table to accomodate 10 people should not be that big of a problem. While waiting for a table to be made available, my wife said that there was a table in the back room that is able to accomodate all of us. We went there and sure enough, there was a set of table for 12 and another for 6. However, there was a family of 4 already seated at the table for 12. I saw the waiter talking to the lady sitting and she shook her head. The waiter came back and said that the lady did not want to move so we either split or wait. Fortunately, another set of tables for 12 became available in another room.

I asked my wife what happened. She said that the man in the group of 4 (who is probably the husband since there is also a young child in the group) had earlier agreed to move to the table for 6 since there were only 4 of them. However, when we arrived and the waiter went to request them to move, the man was outside and the lady (who is probably the wife) did not want to move. As I looked at the tables in that room, I was wondering why would the lady want to occupy the tables set for 12 when there are only 4 of them. Such behaviour baffles me and perhaps, that is also the reason why we have people who will not give way in a narrow road and will claim right of way in every encounter. While we teach our children to stand up for their rights, we should also teach them to be magnanimous and courteous as well.

Ah well, life goes on.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything

A couple of weeks ago, an ex-colleague sent me a list entitled "Maharishi's Guide to Zen". Why much of the content are written in humour, some of them makes a lot of sense, like the title for this blog. As I read this particular entry, I cannot help but remember the recent events in the news, namely the AP issue.
Leaving that aside, I have had many experiences where I have been told that our competitors does thing one way so that I will give approval based on that information, then a few weeks later, that same competitor now does the same thing differently, for the same kind of deal. Unfortunately for these folks, I keep a record of what I have approved (memory not so good at this age) and all of sudden, they are back pedalling.

And this reminds me of a story that I have heard quite some time ago.
Four friends who were in college together have one final paper to go before graduation. The night before their final paper, there was a carnival in a neighbouring city which they wanted to attend. They went, had a great time, one thing led to another and they ended up over-sleeping and missed their paper. On returning to campus, they agreed to cook up an excuse and told the professor that they had a puncture that morning and had to get the car towed to the workshop to get the tyre repaired. Since it was unforseen and it's not their fault, could the professor let them sit for the final paper. The professor thought about it and decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. So he asked them to come back the next morning to sit for the paper.
On the following morning, the students went into the classroom to wait for the professor and congratulated themselves for having pulled of the excuse. At the appointed time, the professor came in and handed out the paper. The test will be for a hundred marks. On the first page, there were 10 questions and each question was worth 1 mark. On the second page, there was only 1 question. It reads, "for 90 marks, which tyre?"

20+ years ago (now you have an idea how long I have been working), I attended an interview with an electronics company in Penang. They were conducting the interview in a hotel in KL. The interviewer asked the candidates to rate themselves in terms of intelligence. I replied '7'. He said that's unusual as most people will say 9 or 10. Then he asked me how I would rate myself in terms of honesty. I replied '9'. I was called to attend a second interview in Penang after that. However, I decided not to pursue that position as I was offered another position then in Shah Alam.

Since we cannot anticipate how others will act, we can only ensure that we can live with our actions, like the guy in the glass.

Do we THINK anymore?

In today's world of high dependency on IT, where things move fast and everyone expects a quick response, I wonder if the younger generation (and perhaps even the older one) takes time out to think before they react to a situation. We come out with processes which everyone is supposed to follow and some follow without understanding why. So much so that I sometimes get asked how we should be reacting to a situation. Instead of providing an outright answer, I would explain the basis behind some of the processes and why some of them are done a certain way. After all the explanations, instead of going away to decide what would be the appropriate response, I get asked again, "so what is the way to handle this?"

Why are we becoming like this? Perhaps it's because of what we do now in our past time... video games. Video games are very absorbing. It holds your attention for the longest time. Part of the reason, I think, is because they give you instant responses. For every action that you take, the game will give you an instant reponse which will require another action from you. You don't have to wait. You don't have to think. You just need to remember what or how to respond, fast.

This mindset is translated into business. We have processes and guidelines where many will follow without understanding the implications and the linkages with other part of the business. The ability to think is either being taken away or not present. Sometimes, it can also be "no time to think". We have to know why certain processes are there so that we can use our minds to decide how to act accordingly. Which reminds me of this story, though humorous, is apt description of what can happen if we don't think.

You put 6 monkeys in a cage and in the middle of the cage, you put a ladder which will lead to a tray of food. Everytime one monkey climbs up the ladder to get to the food, you spray water on the other 5 monkeys. Soon, none of the monkeys will climb up the ladder to get at the food anymore.
Now, you take one of the monkeys out and replace with a new monkey. This monkey, being new, will climb up the ladder to get at the food. The other 5 monkeys will pull the monkey down and beat it as they do not want to get wet. The new monkey soon learn not to climb the ladder.
You then take another of the old monkeys out and replace with a new monkey. This new monkey will soon climb up the ladder to get at the food. The other 4 old monkeys will pull this 2nd new monkey down and beat it. The 1st new monkey, seeing what the others are doing, will join in and hit the latest monkey.
You then replace all the remaining monkeys one by one until the cage now have 6 new monkeys who have never been sprayed by water before. None of them will climb up the ladder to get at the food and they don't know the reason why.

I certainly hope none of us will end up that way.

A.A.A.D.D

I was at a wedding dinner last night and someone at my table mentioned that sometimes he feels he has been busy but does not seem to have got much done. Coincidently, an ex-classmate, now residing in the UK, sent me a note just last week on AAADD or Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. Obviously, it was written as a humorous note but when I read it, it sure sounded familiar. I reproduce the note below.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention
Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to wash my car.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice that there is mail on the hall table.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can
under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out
the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I
find a can of Pepsi that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi
aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in
the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi a vase of flowers on the
counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Pepsi down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses
that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water
the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up
the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't
watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the
remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with
the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for
it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Perhaps that's why I can only do one thing at a time. Once, I tried to fill the water tub and feed the dogs while the tub was being filled and it resulted in the water running and overflowing for 2 hours. No wonder time management courses are so popular.

How did we survive our childhood?

Being a frequent traveller to Singapore, I have read many news report about how the children are getting obese. I remember reading something similar in our local news as well.
A couple of months ago, a friend sent me a short note from Canada. Although it was written based on the North American environment, I could associate with many of them, having done the same here when I was younger.

Here is the article:

If you were a kid in the 50's, 60's, 70's or even early 80's ..how did you
survive your childhood?

• When we were growing up we never wore seatbelts in the car, cars didn't
  have airbags...
• Riding on the back of a pick up truck was an adventure that we still
  remember!
• Our cribs were painted with bright colors (paint which was full of lead)
  We didn't have childproof medicine bottles, nor did our parents ever childproof our house
• When we rode our bikes we never wore a helmet.
• We would drink water from the faucet or from a hose in the backyard (not bottled water).
• We didn't have cell phones , so our parents were never able to reach us (awesome) .
• We would get scrapes, bruises, break bones , lose teeth, but we would never sue for these accidents.
• We would eat cake, , bread and butter, , drink sugary drinks, and we weren't overweight because we were always outside playing
• Four of us would share a drink, we would all drink from the same bottle and that wasn't gross nor would anyone get sick.
• We didn't have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X boxes, video games, cable TV with over 100 channels, VCR's, surround sound , cellular phones , computers , online chatrooms , instead we would have tons of FRIENDS
• Some of us weren't as bright as others but when one would get left back that was no big deal. They would not get taken to a psychologist, nor did they ever suffer from dyslexia, hyperactivity, ADHD, ADD, etc, they would
  simply repeat the grade until they passed.
• We had freedom , mishaps, , successes, , responsibilities, and we would learn to deal with them. The question is...How did we survive? And above all, to become the GREAT people that we are today? Are you from one of these generations

A few more things that I have done when I was young was to eat ice cream ball with your bare hand; playing with your friends is just 2 sticks (one long, one short) and a hole in the ground and running around barefeet. Ah well, wonder how many types of worms I picked up when young.

Why Guy in the Glass

If anyone is wondering why "Guy in the Glass", it is taken from a very meaningful poem by Dale Wimbrow. The title has been mistakenly taken by many as "man in the mirror" (which is actually a song by Michael Jackson) or "man in the glass".

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world make you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass,
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life,
Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test,
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears,
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

Inauguration

I have decided to join the bandwagon and create my own blog site. I have used the term "Reflections" to depict the thoughts that I will be adding to this site. This is not as simple as I thought and I am still figuring how to manoeuvre through this. So this will just be a short post till I figure this out.