Happy Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day. I received the following just today and thought it was quite interesting. Somehow, boys are a bigger bother than girls when they are small.

Life lessons from a mother with boys...
a) for those with no children this is hysterical.
b) for those with grown children past this age, this is hiliarious.
c) for those who have children this age, it is not funny.
d) for those who have children nearing this age it is a warning.
e) for those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy. (dogs also!)
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Tampa, FL has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without children!

Mothers -- we just don't appreciate them enough. And that's partly because our memories are so short. We don't remember what Mom did for us when we were tiny and helpless, when we drank nothing but milk, when we possessed only one talent: changing the color of our diapers.

So, to all the mothers, a Happy Mother's Day.

No matter how old a mother is she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.--Florida Scott-Maxwell, American writer and psychologist(1884-1979)